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Tuesday 16 February 2010

Why Gujaratis Do Good in Any Field

Difference between Appraisal and Resignation

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"

Why Are Americans Jobless ?

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN PHILIPPINES) . He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN VIETNAM). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), then he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA), he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN KOREA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA. AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM HIS PRESIDENT (MADE IN KENYA)

A real great message

Stadium. Eight Children were standing on the track to participate in a running event. * Ready! * Steady! * Bang !!! With the sound of Toy pistol, All eight girls started running. Hardly had they covered ten to fifteen steps, when one of the smaller girls slipped and fell down, Due to bruises and pain she started crying. When the other seven girls heard the little girl cry they stopped running, stood for a while and turned back. Seeing the girl on the track they all ran to help. One among them bent down, picked her up and kissed her gently And enquired as to how she was.. They then lifted the fallen girl pacifying her. Two of them held her firmly while all seven joined hands together and walked together towards the winning post........ . There was pin drop silence at the spectator's stand. Officials were shocked. Slow claps multiplied to thousands as the spectators stood up in appreciation. Many eyes were filled with tears And perhaps even God's! YES.!! This happened in Hyderabad [INDIA], recently! The sport was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health. All these special girls had come to participate in this event They were spastic children. Yes, they were Mentally Challenged. What did they teach the WORLD.? Teamwork.? Humanity.? Equality among all..?? Successful people help others who are slow in learning So that they are not left far behind. This is really a great message... Spread it.!

Thursday 11 February 2010

World Mathematics (hilarious)World Mathematics (hilarious)

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ______________________________ OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime _____________________________ SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. ____________________________ GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. _____________________________ HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________ LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________ PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. _____________________________ DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ____________________________ HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Celebration means....

Celebration means...... Four friends. Bahar barsaat. Four glasses of beer. Celebration means..... Hundred bucks of petrol. A rusty old bike. And an open road. Celebration means...... Maggi noodles. A hostel room. 4.25 a.m. Celebration means...... 3 old friends. 3 separate cities 3 coffee mugs. 1 internet messenger. Celebration means...... Rain on a hot tin roof. Pakoras deep-frying. Neighbours dropping in. A party. Celebration means...... You and mom. A summer night. A bottle of coconut oil. A head massage. You can spend Hundreds on birthdays, Thousands on festivals, Lakhs on weddings, but to celebrate all you have to do is spend your Time with your loved ones. Keep in touch with your loved ones........

I HAVE LEARNED

I’ve learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I’ve learned- that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. I’ve learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I’ve learned- that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I’ve learned- that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. I’ve learned- that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse. I’ve learned- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something. I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do. I’ve learned- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I’ve learned- that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I’ve learned- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I’ve learned- that you can keep going long after you can’t. I’ve learned- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I’ve learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I’ve learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I’ve learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I’ve learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I’ve learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I’ve learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up. I’ve learned- that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. I’ve learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I’ve learned- that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. I’ve learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. I’ve learned- that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. I’ve learned- that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological. I’ve learned- that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself. I’ve learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief. I’ve learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I’ve learned- that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least. I’ve learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do. I’ve learned- that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I’ve learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I’ve learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I’ve learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I’ve learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I’ve learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I’ve learned- that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe. I’ve learned- that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.