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Wednesday 22 September 2010

Who or What is causing your problems?

When people fail, they often blame someone else for their failure. People blame others when they do poorly at work. Blame is also used to justify personal problems. When you blame someone or something else, you actually make yourself weak and ineffective. You make yourself "effect" instead of being the "cause" of the situation. You give power to the person or thing you blame. "Blaming something else makes that something else cause; and as that cause takes on power, the individual in the same act loses control and becomes effect." For example, you lost a business contract and you blame your assistant. You are making your assistant more powerful than you. You might say, "My assistant messed up the appointment, "which is just another way of saying, "My assistant determines if I succeed or fail in keeping an appointment." If you take responsibility, you would say, "I need to train my assistant so he doesn't make mistakes". As another example, you might blame someone’s behavior for your stress and anxiety. This makes that person behavior responsible for your feelings. If you say, "That person ruined my mood," you are actually saying, "That person is so powerful that he can control my emotions." If you wish to succeed in life, you have to end the blame game and accept responsibility for yourself. You only get ahead when you become "cause" over the situation and not the “effect”.

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